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Memories Are Currency, Invest Them Well To Win

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As the sole director of this ongoing film that is your life, each one of your memories forms a single unit of investible currency into the budget. Invest wisely, generously and aggressively to develop the most awe-inspiring production that you can imagine.  And drink more water. So, what was new this week in weird and […]

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Personas and Personal Empowerment: The Art of Honest Identity Theft

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To stop the sense of being overwhelmed with what you cannot control, invest only in your hold on that which you can be certain of controlling: your sense of self. Be your own consistency among inconsistencies. An actively self-conjured element in a sea of unpredictable elements. Your internal assuredness of you is the direction that […]

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PSA: Lions are the best damn animal. Point blank.

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There’s a lot of things in the world that get romanticized to a pretty extreme degree, but among those things, I really do think that lions deserve the hype. Sure, gazelles would probably disagree and elephants would probably take lions to Ihop in a football game, but they’re all around just badass gold standard animals. […]

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Confession: I’m addicted to scamming MLM scammers

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I just can’t help it. You can always tell who they are, lurking in the coffee shops and entrepreneur groups on LinkedIn. Always willing to talk on and on about this phenomenal new opportunity for financial independence that they learned about from a “married couple” or “mentor”. Walking around with their little Robert Kiyosaki books and a […]

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Sketchy as Hell

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It’s about to get reeeeeeal sketchy up in here, ladies and gentlemen. You know that annoying saying about how you always find something in the very last place that you look? As patronizing as it sounds, I think that applies to more than just the physical things. I’m not trying to get all Matthew Mcconaughey […]

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The Lion Thing

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“Simba you deliberately disobeyed me. And also failed to comment on my new dopeass tattoos, do you like them” “Y-yeah dad, they’re pretty sick.” “Thank you son. Now stay the fuck out of the elephant graveyard and also my medicine cabinet.”

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Mr. Owl

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“Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?” The real question is what kind of drugs you need to be on to ask an owl about tootsie pops.

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Lil Buddha

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They say that even the Buddha would get pissed off if you poked him three times. I just wonder, what in the hell would possess someone to poke Buddha three times? How bored do you have to be to do that?