Prompt Challenge: Siren Hunter

Writing Prompt Challenge: Ambulances are dispatched before the accident happens. One day, you notice one has been following you for an hour.

I been huntin’. I been huntin’ ambulances for 56 years. Most people know ’em as automobiles, ah shur. Me? I’m the one unlucky sonnuva bitch who gets to stay sober. They still teach about Prohibition in yer school? Heh. Bunch of crooks. Ain’t been one damn sober person on this Earth since the first ambulance showed up.

Thing that bugged me most wasn’t when the demons started rushing the streets. Ugly fuckers, sure, but still more attractive than my ex wife’s mother in law. May her soul rest in hell. No, what bugged me most was when I saw those cute little pictures people drew of ’em.

You seem ’em as a bunch of over-sized sugar cubes decorated with cute red stripes?Bunch of little trimmings? Maybe a little man you think is inside of it makin’ it roll down the road like a fuckin’ Dr. Seuss book? I swear I don’t know what kinda funny powder they put on yer eyes when they come down here but I wouldn’t want that shit in my whiskey.

Look, it’s best if most people don’t ever get to see their true form anyway. If I get my way, there ain’t gonna be no more. Cut it off at the source. That’s why I’ve got to find the hive.

Kill one, it sets off a distress signal. Kill a hundred thousand and put ’em in a pile , and that distress signal should getthe queen’s attention. That’s when she’ll make the royal guard alpha ambulances show up, and I’ll just follow the bread crumbs backwards from where they came.

Let me tell you one thing, ain’t one goddamn human being ever been saved by an ambulance. Damn things hunt like cougars and scavenge like vultures at the same time. They get to ya first. Make it look like an accident. Then their only job left is to rush in and eat the remains. Leave you with a copy.

Maybe the copy lasts a few decades, maybe it dies. Point is, the real one’s fuckin’ dead. Eaten. Ambulances are always hungry. You hear rumblin? That’s the stomach of the one of ’em behind us. Lured him here.

What, you thought this limp was real? Heh. Trade secret. Still got those glasses I gave ya right? Go ahead and put em on. Now go climb up that fire escape. Take some real good notes on that fancy fuckin’ eyefoam of yers. Yer in for a hell of an internship kid.

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