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PSA: Lions are the best damn animal. Point blank.

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There’s a lot of things in the world that get romanticized to a pretty extreme degree, but among those things, I really do think that lions deserve the hype. Sure, gazelles would probably disagree and elephants would probably take lions to Ihop in a football game, but they’re all around just badass gold standard animals. […]

Book Excerpt

Lady of Light and Blood

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Suddenly, there wasn’t a thing in the world that she knew in terms of logic. In the place of what was once known, there was an all-encompassing understanding. She paid no heed to the sensation of falling – in a way, it felt more as though the cradle of earth below was rising to carry […]

Book Excerpt

Darling Thieves

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There are generally two ways that competent thieves make an exit: smoothly or in body bags. Those who commonly leave with someone or something nipping at their heels generally won’t be long for the lifestyle. Conventionally, consistently successful career thieves (as they would like to be called if they could safely court attention for it) have a habit […]

Book Excerpt

Enter the Void Crusher

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“Don’t let him get awa-” the hooded man spat out before an invisible shockwave sent him flying like a badminton cricket. For about three seconds, the oily black void of midnight burned electric green in a concert of wild lightning. Every streetlight bulb on the road crackled and exploded like overcooked eggs in the skillet. About […]

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Confession: I’m addicted to scamming MLM scammers

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I just can’t help it. You can always tell who they are, lurking in the coffee shops and entrepreneur groups on LinkedIn. Always willing to talk on and on about this phenomenal new opportunity for financial independence that they learned about from a “married couple” or “mentor”. Walking around with their little Robert Kiyosaki books and a […]

Book Excerpt

Of Savagery and Empathy

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A lone, glimmering star shone in the void of space, and this was Noah’s target. Within the void, all senses melted together into fluid streams of streaking light. Javelins of lightning blitzed through a tunnel of inertia to impact. Long-fanged gale winds that had slowly carved a 15-year valley of training carried his fists like […]

Book Excerpt

The Wayward Desert God

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There was a certain poetry to the way of life they’d put together on the fringes of the desert. Set the target, clear out the zone, load the deck, get it back without getting busted, rinse and repeat. The racket had a certain flow to it that made life almost surreally simple compared to most […]

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Psychedelic Lotus

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After you’ve been swirling around a nice little cocktail of midnight oil, creative fluid and LED light for long enough, you naturally start to hallucinate about Buddha materializing out of a giant radioactive lotus flower and telling you to “chill out and mediate for a New York second bruh.” The wisest reaction to this cosmic encounter […]

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Sketchy as Hell

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It’s about to get reeeeeeal sketchy up in here, ladies and gentlemen. You know that annoying saying about how you always find something in the very last place that you look? As patronizing as it sounds, I think that applies to more than just the physical things. I’m not trying to get all Matthew Mcconaughey […]

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The Lion Thing

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“Simba you deliberately disobeyed me. And also failed to comment on my new dopeass tattoos, do you like them” “Y-yeah dad, they’re pretty sick.” “Thank you son. Now stay the fuck out of the elephant graveyard and also my medicine cabinet.”